I know a bit about genetics. I even went to a pretty good school to learn about it (them?) (I am reminded of this each month as I send off my student loan check). But while genetics absolutely titllates my nerdy mind, it really holds no personal value. I don't need a genetic link to my child(ren). I don't have some great skill I hope to pass on (I can't sing or draw or play sports with any talent). I don't have remarkable features to bestow (teeth, hair, skin all being generally average...height being decidedly less so). I personally only know half of my own genetics (the other half not being aware of me either). I really just want to be a parent. To have a happy little family.
And then I was going to say, "wtf, so why am I so affected by this damn infertility." But in my writing and wallowing, I just realized...nerdy me has morphed something huge and full of emotion (infertility) into something small and manageable and academic (genetics). I can handle genetics. I cannot handle infertility.
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This probably won't make you feel better, but this grief of infertility will go on for quite a while - it ebbs and flows as you are confronted with reminders.
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