Update - the 3.5 month variety

Life has been...hectic. I've started posts a million times in my head, only to be side tracked by deadlines and flights and relationship yuck. Work sucked the life out of me for awhile. I'm pretty sure I single-handedly saved Delta from bankruptcy with all the out of town gigs I was able to book. Believe me, I'm thankful to have the work. But also exhausted. And my stress/absence took its toll on my relationship with S. And basically everything else in my life (friends, blogs, personal hygiene). But while all of that was going on, this was happening too:

We were chosen as a "favorite family" two times in September - not at all in October

Our profile was sent to 10 potential birth families in September and 9 in October

We've been renewing finger prints and physicals and such as parts of our home study have started to expire (weird...makes it sound like rotten cheese)

We got THE CALL!

THE CALL. The one I thought would never come. She called and she was nervous and I was nervous and I couldn't believe it. It was awkward but genuine. She seemed so unsure of moving forward. She was so scared of what other people would think if she made the decision to place, of what her baby would think. I wished I knew her and could giver her a hug and tell her whatever decision she made would be the right one. But really I just told her that I was glad she called and that I hoped she had a nice day. How...completely... inadequate.

We didn't hear from her for weeks. I would think about her and hope she was OK. I knew we might never hear from her again, but it was like that door of "knowing her" had opened and now I thought about her and worried about her and hoped she had people supporting her. And then our agency called....