It came with a pregnancy test (and other bullets)

• I had to get a new pack of pee ovulation sticks. Target was out of the generic brand and I was too tired to drive to the other target (side note: I recently found out there are 42 targets in my city's "metro area". Seriously?), so I handed over the extra $4 for first response. Apparently, when you buy the fancypants brand, you get a free pregnancy test. I am now obsessed with it. I'm constantly thinking about that little pink pregnancy test in my sea of purple ovulation tests.
• For those of you playing along at home, CD1 was July 22. I thought I would surge today (CD13), but so far nothing. I'm now worried that the pee sticks are broken. But it's probably me. (or, most likely of all, it's just normal and I should calm the f down and I'll probably ovulate tomorrow)
  
• Work has been a total nightmare and that's pretty much all I have been doing since my last post.
• We were contacted by a birth mother last week. She is very young and very early in her pregnancy. She sent us a long sweet email and we played it cool and wrote back something very noncommittal. Now I feel bad about that. After 3 years of this we're so jaded and we let that get in the way of making a connection with her. I hope we get a second chance
• Tomorrow the social worker comes to our house for our home study renewal. I'm supposed to be cleaning the house right now, but instead I'm reminiscing obsessing letting my mind run wild with the last 4 years of the adoption/IVF journey and all the possibility that awaits in the next few months
• Sometimes I spiral down into thoughts of this being never ending. The shots, the pills, the hormones, the emotions, the waiting, the wondering, the disappointment, the hope, the heartache. But I keep trying to remind myself that every day brings us one day closer to the resolution. One day we will step off this roller coaster. I don't know what it will look like, but one day we will be there and we will be thankful for all the years we put in (and of course then we'll step onto a new and different roller coaster [hopefully parenthood] but I am so ready for new and different)